The Levy rule of no chance

OPINION: The Spurs chairman may be addicted to his squid game of shooting managers if things are not instantly perfect

Thursday, 4th November 2021 — By Richard Osley

Tottenham Spurs Stadium

IN school-level sums, we were told all about the law of probabilities, weren’t we? But surely if such a thing existed, then at least one of the endless queue of men that Daniel Levy has appointed as manager of Tottenham Hotspur would turn up as a winner.

Apparently not. The Spurs chairman has instead presented like a rabid gambler at the roulette table in Monte Carlo insisting that black has to come up some time. He always wants one more spin.

It’s so improbable, though, that he could not find a suitable head coach despite having a million goes at it, they may have to christen a new mathematical theorem.

The Levy Rule: a warning that monkeys could not eventually key out the complete works of Shakespeare on typewriters after all, even if they had infinite number of monkeys and an infinite number of typewriters. Or in simpler terms, would Levy ever be able to pick a head coach he was happy with, even if he had infinite time and space to make as many hiring choices as he liked? Sadly, it’s almost as if Levy is addicted to his mad manager squid game of shooting managers if things are not instantly perfect.

At some stage, the Spurs fans, and the Arsenal fans for that matter, have to work out what they are asking for.

Both have demanded more spending in the team with fantasy football figures being suggested.

Antonio Conte must be backed with transfer money is the demand. But is “buy, buy, buy” really the answer. It is after all less than six months since fans of the inverted comma’d big six staged earnest protests outside the stadiums to help crush the breakaway super league project. The complaint then was that the soul of football was being lost in a poisonous avalanche of money.

Arsenal and Spurs may not be challenging this season, but if you signed up to thinking either of these clubs would be regular competitors, then you haven’t read the history books: Arsenal have not retained the title since the 1930s and Spurs have not been champions of the land since 1961. And yet supporting either club has had more glamorous rewards than if you lived in [insert small town club in league two].

The emergence of Bukayo Saka and Emile Smith Rowe from the academy ranks has been far classier than Manchester City and soon to be Newcastle’s method of assembling a team. One of their own, Spurs nurtured the England captain no less.

When you hear their standout hero of the last half-decade booed like he has been, we should all be mindful of what we might lose in the chase for quick gratification.

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