Published: 9 July, 2015
by RICHARD OSLEY

SERENA Williams is a unique, wonderful athlete, arguably the greatest woman to have played tennis. She’d be even more fantastic, however, if she just got on with being fantastic. 

With all those winces and pensive shuffles between every point, her matches are becoming a bit like James Brown’s old soul shows, when one minute he’d look too drained by his own brilliance to continue, only to flip back a second later to tap out Sex Machine with the energy of a dancer revitalised by a naughty shot in the arm. 

Williams can swat opponents like flies by simply focusing on what she does best. If she did, it would save us all a lot of time, and spare the emotions of those sorry suckers who had been hustled into thinking on Friday night that she might actually lose to someone as wholly inferior as Britain’s flapping number one, Heather Watson.

• THOUSANDS and thousands of football fans have mugged themselves into thinking their favourite players share an absolute devotion to their clubs.

Truth is, the kiss of a badge means very little these days. Samir Nasri, the Manchester City midfielder, summed up the cold reality when he said of supporters of his former club Arsenal a few years back that their booing was “stupid”, questioning why they thought he should be wedded to their club: “I am not from London. If we want to be honest, we are players who look at what is in the best interests for us.” 

Players are simply buy-and-sell assets. They don’t mention it now, but Chelsea almost sold ‘Mr Chelsea’ John Terry when he was a youngster. Our emotions and attachments are irrelevant.  But at least there is an exception to prove the rule. Former German international Marcell Jansen was released by Hamburg last month and said this week that, aged only 29, he’d rather retire than sign for another club. “I was very emotionally tied to Hamburg,” he said. “I don’t want to lie or deceive another club or fans when I am no longer fully behind it. I can’t just suddenly kiss another badge now. That wouldn’t be right.” A king among lads, good luck to him.

• PEOPLE were tweeting condolences to champion racehorse Kauto Star, who was put down after a fall in a field last week, like they he had been old friends.

Of course, no doubt all of these mourners were mad animal lovers who liked his mane and pretty hazel eyes. But why did they really come to adore him? Let’s be honest: because he was trained to run when ordered, win races and for once offer punters a winning edge. Horses who lead to ripped-up slips would be happily dispatched to the glue factory by some of these same tribute-writers. 

If Twitter had an honest skin, a lot of these misty-eyed characters would simply write: “Sad to hear about Kauto Star. One of the very few horses who made me money.”