Published: 8 August, 2013
by RICHARD OSLEY

THE urban dictionary favourite ‘stay classy’ has had a good run.

Next year will see the 10th anniversary celebrations of Will Ferrell ordering San Diego to ‘stay classy’ in the film Anchorman. Those simple words have led to almost a decade of people My Spacing (what’s MySpace?), Facebooking, texting, emailing and tweeting you something ironically grim and grimy with the accompanying words ‘stay classy’. Stay classy Camden. Stay classy Kentish Town. Stay classy everywhere.

Once a week somebody will order Camden Town to ‘stay classy’ with a picture on Twitter of a bamboozled street drinker – probably spelt BAMBOOZELD among online jokers – suffering in the sun on the grass by the canal. Everybody at all times must ‘stay classy’.

In fact, if you could crack open Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers’ Facebook status right now, the latest update will almost certainly say: Stay classy, Arsenal.

OK, okay, what he really said in a press conference this week – referring to the Gunners’ money-spunking £40million chase for Luis Suarez – was: ‘I have to admit I was surprised. I always associated Arsenal as a club with class.’

But it’s the same difference. The put-down he was trying to effect was still: Stay classy, Arsenal.

He seems like a decent enough guy but the trouble for Brendan is that accusations of who has class and who doesn’t do not really work any more in football.

As much as Liverpool and Arsenal – and all of the other football clubs with a desperation to retain a sense of historic grandeur – want to be the ‘classy’ outriders who would never, ever buy a league title like those bullies from Chelsea and Manchester City, the game has changed. Nobody has truly stayed classy.

As painful as it might be to a supporter like me, if Arsenal had that charming 1930s marble halls class still, then its stadium would have a charming, old sportsbook name – I dunno, like Ashburton Grove – rather than bear the crown of a sponsor.

But Liverpool can suck it up too.

The supporters, with their anthem and Paisley quotes and fans with lots of badges, must know that their own club has lost a share of its soul too with the changing ownership in the boardroom.

And, come on, look at who Rodgers was talking about in that press conference: the least classy player in the entire Premiership, Suarez, a bitter biter accused of racism but cherished by classy old Liverpool as a top-scorer who they are desperate to keep. Classy Liverpool trying to retain classy Suarez from classyless Arsenal. Silly, right?

Oh yes – all the class in football has long gone and we know it, and most of us, like the addicted fools we are, have reconciled our consciences over our sold out souls a long time ago.

My club, your club, none of us can really hold the moral high ground.

Rodgers must be aware that we’re not walking around in a sepia world where club officials wear sharp suits and spats – that’s how I imagine class – and fans swing rattles any more.

We watch a sport where the best we can hope of our former England captains is that their biggest sin will be hawking crisps to the kids. It’s a sport where Real Madrid can offer £100million for one player while the young in that city are suffering a searing unemployment crisis not felt for generations.

Teams take on pay-day lenders as sponsors. They sell unnecessary third kits in the club shops. The programmes cost folding money, and so do the hot dogs. And that’s just the start of it.

It’s too late for ‘stay classy’ now, Brendan. The moment has gone.