Published: 20 December, 2012

WHEN Arsene Wenger turns in on Christmas Eve you can imagine the troublesome dreams that lie in wait after a stuttering, and sometimes embarrassing, opening to the season.
As he shoves the pillow from side to side, there’s the Ghost of Christmas past, Thierry Henry, tapping at the window.
Hopefully he turns up very soon and produces some of his familiar other-wordly magic to help smooth over a few of the cracks at Arsenal at the moment. But there’s also the Ghost of Christmas present, Gervinho, knocking at the front door.
This spirit is more worrying. Here is a man played at centre forward but who would rather a defender take a penalty in a shoot-out ahead of him, a startled rabbit in the headlights when presented with open goals on the six-yard line. (This role in the Arsenal Christmas Carol analogy can also be played by: the curious Chamakh, the forgotten Arshavin, the perplexed looking Ramsey, the injury-prone Diaby and a fair few others).
Worse still may be to come in Wenger’s nightmare: the Ghost of Christmas future, Santi Cazorla in a Manchester City shirt.
An Arsenal player only needs to string two passes together or score a couple of goals and Manchester City have their noses pressed up against the shop window waving comic strip bags of money at them. The Gunners must retain Cazorla at all costs. With Jack Wilshere, they are two of the most exciting midfielders in the league. They lit up the 5-2 win on Monday. Wenger should wake from his Christmas fright night with a determination to convince friends in the boardroom to be a tiny bit less scroogey. Here’s hopin!
Richard osley

WAHEY Arsenal beat Reading and Christmas is back on for Gooners.
So you know that feeble Christmas dinner shopping list that Daddy Gooner took with him to the shops? Tell him he is allowed to chuck a few Yorkshire puddings in the trolley after all. And remember those acrylic Arsenal FC onesies that little Wayne and Waynetta Gooner begged Santa for?
Stick ‘em on the Capital One credit card. That’s right. Arsenal supporters everywhere can finally celebrate the festive season because a win over the worst performing club in the league has erased the nightmare of Bradford.
Hang on. Sorry to rain on your Valley parade Gooners, but it’ll take a bit more than that for us to move on. You’ve been Grimsby’d. So think of it as a gift that keeps on giving. I will.
As, I hope, FurCoatNoKnicker FC’s fruitless trip to the World Club Cup will turn out to be. It’s already given us a chuckle after Rafa the Red’s cunningly crafted tactics were supposedly found in the rubbish. Apparently, ‘Lamps’ was to mark a six inch man and they were all to flap their arms at corners. Can’t believe they didn’t win.
Who knows what Arsenal’s League Cup tactic sheet said – other than don’t tackle any opponent wearing a short-sleeved shirt. Which they didn’t.
Given that AVB engineered our clean-sheet victory on Sunday, I’d say the best tactician in London resides at White Hart Lane.
Top Four Tottenham? We are again now.
Merry Christmas.
 catherine etoe