Published: 28 January, 2016
by STEVE BARNETT

AS the villain limped away from the Emirates Stadium on Sunday, having helped engineer another win for Chelsea, the resigned Gooners sobbed their way down Seven Sisters Road wondering if they will ever see Arsenal beat the Blues again. 

But there’s no pointing a finger at Dirty Diego this time. With all the speed the towering tortoise that is Mertesacker has tucked away in his socks, it’s no surprise that the force generated by the swipe of his boot knocked Costa over. 

No. This time, dare I say, just like the previous eight winless league games against Chelsea, the blame lies fully at Arsene Wenger’s feet. The 1-0 defeat at the Emirates proved once and for all that Arsenal’s desperately dour, and these days all too predictable, results against the pensioner playboys of south London is down to one man. 

And, unlike we all originally thought, it’s not Jose “I could make Mundane United a teeny-weeny bit less boring” Mourinho. 

Some people believe that we are only born with two phobias – the fear of falling and loud noises. The rest we inherit from our parents. And Daddy Arsene is doing a grand job of making sure that no matter how bad the Blues become, they never again lose to his Wenger Boys (a retro throw back to the late 1990s there for our older readers, seems fitting as it feels like the last time the Gunners actually beat Chelsea). 

Players like Bellerin, Campbell and Alexis haven’t been in the Gunners’ first team long enough to develop the fear on their own. So it must be something to do with the way Wenger skulks around the training ground in the week building up to the match. 

I can see him now, staring at his feet and shaking like a Jack Russell waiting for his owner outside Highbury Vintners, as he addresses his boys in a voice worryingly similar to Droppy’s… “Don’t worry, we won’t get a player sent off this time,” he drones. “And I think we can win, well I don’t think we’ll lose. Well we might lose, but if we stick to our footballing philosophy it’s kinda like winning. Besides, they’re bigger than us and bullies never really win.” 

And if that Winston Churchillesque speech doesn’t rally his troops before the big kick off, or they still get a red card, then Wenger can always make a tactical masterstroke, like taking off his leading goalscorer instead of Campbell. 

I mean, Arsenal fans wouldn’t have wanted Giroud getting in the way when their team was trying to defend set-pieces, or, God forbid, actually scoring! 

The fact that Wenger can’t beat the current Chelsea crop suggests that he will never be able to conquer his phobias!