Published: 29 November, 2012

MUCH credit this week to the Chelsea fans, who are so often unfairly dismissed as an unthinking, sheeple crowd of thickos.

It transpires they are actually a creative mass. The evidence: some of them used TWO different colours in their “Rafa Out” banners and placards as they welcomed in their two zillionth new club manager in the last 10 years. And different sized fonts as well! Bravo. I think I saw both Courier New and Verdana employed on one sign. With such advanced publishing skills, the Chelsea intelligentsia will expect their viewpoint to be heard.

I can help here by breaking down their argument: the chairman sacked Bobby Di Matteo, somebody they worshipped for bringing them the Champions League – albeit with a world record slice of luck – and replaced him with somebody who we all were a little bored by, Rafa Benitez, when he managed Liverpool. Oh – and Benitez, in his previous job, kind of suggested Chelsea fans were a little quiet, a little uninspiring.

So ever since he arrived last week it’s been: moan, moan, placard, moan, moan, banner, Rafa out, moan.

And there have been tears that the soul of Chelsea Football Club has been ripped apart by chairman Roman Abramovich’s chopping and changing. KER-PLUNK! Hear that? That there is the penny dropping among the Chelsea crowd to something the rest of us have known for the best part of a decade. Little did they know that when they were celebrating rich Roman bankrolling a league title-winning team, the soul of their club was seeping out of it with every £15million spent on a reserve player. Sadly, there was little honest reflection when the chairman bought them a team. It means they are in no position to moan now.
Richard Osley

THEY say that Rafa the Red has been brought in by the club that’s all fur coat and no knickers to get Torres back on track.

What’s wrong?

Well, Alan Shearer reckons the man whose sun-kissed locks are the envy of Essex girls everywhere is suffering from poor movement in and around the box.

Prunes usually do the trick for me. Fact.

But that’s probably not the kind of movement or box Mr Personality had in mind.

I reckon Rafa might be able to get Chelsea’s £50million man to take the strain by showing him the latest Premier League masterclass in scoring.

Which wouldn’t be any of Arsenal’s hapless lot against Aston Villa. Obviously.

It would be Jermain Defoe against West Ham. Fact.

If Torres does watch that striker’s classic though, he should do it with the volume turned down so he doesn’t have to hear the bubble-blowing bigots and their crass chants.

No one should have to. Fact.

Still, Torres got a lesson in how horrid his own supporters can be when they welcomed Benitez to hell on Sunday. Calm down dears, he’s ‘interim’ (you can look it up in that thing called a dictionary if you don’t know what that means). So while he might saddle you with Darren Bent and a load of blokes you’ve never heard of, you can take comfort in the knowledge that he’s only warming the managerial throne for… well anyone daft enough to think they can sit on it permanently.
Catherine Etoe