• THE latest horror prediction from climate change experts is that we may never again see snow on Primrose Hill.

While walking the dog up there, I foolishly stepped into the ancient tobogganing furrow. After rain this had turned into a mud chute.

To the delight of the myriad tourists I tripped and slid several yards with the dog joyously bouncing along in pursuit. What a glorious mess! It can’t be all bad.

Along with the climate, British culture is slipping south.

Standard English is now relegated to the status of an archaic dialect, under no circumstances to be taught to children.

The up side of this is a more relaxed environment in which Brummies, Scousers, Geordies and Jamaicans can be proud of their heritage rather than suffer embarrassment owing to the lottery of birth.

We may have to wait years for a black PM, but we are surely on the road.

Even the Queen now sounds like a human being, having abandoned the absurd pomposity familiar to those of us who saw her growing up.

It is time for fuddy-duddies to accept that language is organic and therefore subject to development.

We must stop bemoaning the fact that almost no one these days knows the difference between nominative and accusative.

You are actually in esteemed company if you don’t know when to say “you and I” or “you and me”.

Many a doctor, lawyer, politician, news reader and younger member of the royal family is equally clueless.

Ever since Andrew Lloyd Webber discovered the strangled adenoids of Elaine Paige and cast her as a dying cat, the British musical has been doomed to a warbling vibrato which has somehow become the envy of the world.

Try listening to Michael Ball singing I Believe. Jim Reeves would turn in his grave.

It is pointless yearning for gentility and good taste.

After all, for the past four years no one even noticed that we were trapped in an episode of Family Guy – and Peter Griffin had become president.

As regular viewers will know, this is a world in which every subject from domestic violence, paedophilia, high school shootings and 911 are the subject of derisive humour.

Yet the American regulators would take the show off air for an unbleeped expletive or showing a cartoon penis.

So join me on the slippery slope and enjoy the ride.

JASPER FOX
Gloucester Crescent, NW1