WELL, it’s been a worrying old time in St Louis over in the United States, where they’ve been trying to track down a troop of vervet monkeys which have appeared on the streets and nobody knows how they got there.

Not happy days for Harry Styles fans who have been moaning about how much tickets are to see him at Wembley this spring.

Carol Kirkwood, the weather presenter, said she was leaving the BBC and people tweeted: Nooooooo. The Traitors started off as its best series but finished as its dullest due to low faithful competence. Only Connect’s questions were too hard.

Meanwhile, Victoria Beckham still hasn’t told the world what dance she actually did “on” her son Brooklyn at his wedding, when it’s clear millions of people want her to explain.

I saw what might have been a goldfinch on my way to work on Tuesday.

The charity shop on the corner is full of Richard Osmans.

Someone made a podcast.

Have you seen nearly all the branches of Leon have closed down in London?

Davos sounds like an important place and thing, but they should have done that in Brighton and gone on the pier in between meetings.

The meal deals in Tesco are probably better value than the ones in Sainsbury’s, all in.

Apparently, there’s a new fun experience thing where you can climb to the top of Alexandra Palace.

The escalators at Camden Town tube always seem to be broken. When they’re not, who else thinks it’s too windy in that gale force station?

Andy Burnham, ay – something was happening there wasn’t it?

Easter eggs are in the shops already.

No, I haven’t seen Marty Supreme.

It might be that David Baddiel has a TV programme about cats out, although it’s hard to tell – he keeps quiet about these things.

Rain today, and tomorrow, then cloudy rain.

It’s hard to measure how much spaghetti to cook, even after all these years.

You didn’t win the Omaze house.

Manchester United beat Arsenal and it was horrible and now everybody is panicking and Man City are going to win the league again, aren’t they?

Right that about covers the last week…