Published: 25 October, 2012
THE CROW

JADED. It’s always that the players “looked a little jaded”. Every time Arsenal mess up – and it’s twice in a week now –  it’s put down to the fact that the players “looked a little jaded”. You hardly ever hear that word unless the Arsenal management are speaking. Jaded. Jaded. Jaded. Jaded. Jaded. Who even uses the word jaded?

The whole of London must feel a little jaded every day battling rush hour scrums and swerving chuggers.

But you don’t hear us moaning.

Life’s little challenges –trying to sound cooler than we really are on Facebook, attempting to turn on the television without having to see Miranda Hart, that kind of thing – are enough to make us all feel a little jaded.

But you don’t hear us moaning.

Well you do hear us moaning, but let’s not ruin the point. The fact is, footballers are paid more than you, and me, and you and me put together, and you and me put together times 10, so it’s kind of reasonable to expect them to turn up for their job – which let’s not forget is PLAYING FOOTBALL – not “looking a little jaded”.

What have they been doing to be so jaded? They're not staying up all night staring at work spreadsheets or night shifting in a call centre or googling “shall I retrain as a teacher?” into the early hours. Like the rest of us. Any player that turns up for Arsenal looking 'a little jaded' just a few months into the season should have their Porsches confiscated. Otherwise, ticket-buying fans might start to look a little… well, you know what.
Richard Osley

SO we didn’t get to see our man Andre Villas-Boas get celebratory grass stains on his knees when Chelsea visited White Hart Lane on Saturday.

Instead, we had to watch AVB grimace as their mealy mouthed fans asked him “what’s the score?” once Juan Mata, the player he signed for those ingrates, had nicked the game for them.

At least a well-deserved suspension meant we didn’t have to watch John Terry scamper around the ground waving his man boobs in our faces.

With any luck, Terry will give up lobbing his shirt into the crowd now there’s every chance he might just get it chucked back at him.

Aw, who am I kidding? This is a man who could break wind as he skipped out of a lift full of Chelsea fans and they’d still give him a standing ovation as the doors closed on them.

But fan loyalty is a curious beast. Just ask poor old Kyle Walker. Sure, his late mistake let Sturridge add an undeserved gloss to the scoreline on Saturday, but was there really any need for some of his Twit-ter followers to go all Ashley Cole on him?

One result that really did look off this weekend was Norwich’s home win over Arsenal.

They weren’t good enough to beat us the other week and their star turn is a bloke who looks about as athletic as a darts player. But 1-0 to the Canaries? Seemed well short to me – should’ve been 3-0 at least. Didn’t stop me celebrating though!
Catherine Etoe