Published: 16 April, 2015

ARSENAL by Richard Osley

THIS is the thing now. Arsenal win match after match in a familiarly prosperous second half of their season, and the people who sat on their hands in the autumn and said nothing are tweeting: “Wenger Out, eh? Where are the Wenger Out mob now? Where are they? Where? #WengerIn.”

The club may finish second in the Premier League (more likely third) and, barring a disaster against Reading on Saturday afternoon in the FA Cup semi-final, have a chance of two trophies in two years. So, all of a sudden, the Wenger Out suggesters must be locked in pillories outside the Emirates Stadium and have their tweets read back to them.

The truth is, this column was questioning how long Wenger might go on, back when it wasn’t so sunny. That may all seem so foolish, what with the delight of the ever-quickening arrival of St Totteringham. But the truth is the Wenger Knows Best crew will need to stop and think at some stage. The winning run, for example, coincides with Mikel Arteta’s injury. The Gunners have played infinitely better without him, in my humble opinion. You could say Wenger struck on a better formula almost by accident.

Arsenal have to work out at some stage what life will be like after Wenger. A hero forever, nobody wants to drive him out, but surely everybody wants him to go out in glory, rather than spending another five years checking on Abou Diaby’s injuries. Another cup triumph would be the perfect climax. By letting him escape his weekly stress for some of his beloved beach football, we’d be paying him the better compliment.

SPURS by Catherine Etoe

LET’S not panic. Instead, let’s look for inspiration to the most unlikely of quarters – to the London club that’s put together an amazing run of form… to Crystal Palace. Boom boom. 

Whaddye mean “Eh?”. All right, they’re not challenging for the title (I forget who is) but they’re playing like Brazil. Apparently. So if that bunch can come over all samba-tastic, there’s no reason why Spurs can’t. It’s fine if our season finale is more Southampton than South American, just get us there with our pride intact. 

Failing that, let’s think about next term and make a bid to land the lively and enigmatic young managerial starlet whose name is on the lips of every right-thinking football fan. Not Jurgen Klopp stupid. I’m on about the kid who offered to manage Aston Villa in return for a salary of plastic wrestlers and a lifetime supply of Tooty Frooties. Or something. 

“We need to stop the goals by getting in the way and we need to score more by shooting on target,” this particular youngster is said to have told the Villa board after they sacked Paul Lambert. Strewth, who says sugar rots your brain? 

Now I’m not sure how Tim Sherwood pushed past this sensible little fella’s bid to don the managerial gilet at Villa Park, but Timbo clearly has something. Set aside his Spurs win ratio being better than Pochettino’s and his work in bringing through our season’s best performing youngsters. It’s his ability to revive a striker we envy. He did it with Adebayor and as we found to our cost, he’s doing it with Benteke. Life may be sweet for Villa but over at the Lane we’ve a sour taste in our mouths. Yet again.