Arsene Wenger’s decision not to bring in a defender is rather insulting to fans who plump the Arsenal accounts 

Published: 4 September, 2014

ARSENAL by Richard Osley

EVEN when he’s sleeping, Radamel Falcao will earn £30 a minute – EVERY SINGLE MONEY-SUCKING MINUTE – during his time shooting footballs for Manchester United.

Every time he draws breath, 50p kerchings into his bank account. Every time he switches out the light at the end of the day, he will be £43,000 richer. And everybody thinks that’s all right, yeah? That’s all cool with you guys, right?

If you bashed Arsene Wenger this week for his bumbling transfer dealings, at least ask yourself whether any of us should be comfortable that paying footballers such extreme sums is something to celebrate.

You don’t need to be a party pooper, or even a bitter rival, to feel uncomfortable at this kind of spending, more so in a world with no money. In their high delight at Falcao’s arrival, United fans will not be able to answer the question with a sensible head and will accuse us of jealousy. But it’s sicky, isn’t it? The salaries are so high there’s no point even starting with an “earns more than the Prime Minister” chart – Rad will have cashed that by lunchtime.

On Sky Sports’ deadline day show, the presenters were like a squad of Wall Street Wolves blowing with drooling delight at transfer records being broken by increasingly ludicrous sums. All they needed to complete the set was a bath of Monopoly money for Jim White to roll around in as he shouted out the fees. Does this all excuse Wenger failing? No, his decision not to bring in a defender, at the very least, is rather insulting to fans who plump the Arsenal accounts with high ticket prices. But somewhere in the mocking of Wenger as a glued-wallet miser, there is a streak of honour. Somewhere.

SPURS by Catherine Etoe

I HAD to laugh at Gran’s Gooner pals this week – on Monday morning Bert shuffled into the day room clutching his mobile phone, then tossed his walking stick into the air and yelled: “Falcao is on his way to the Emirates, it’s official.” 

The next thing we knew the entire room was filled with stick-twirling pensioners crowing: “We’re gunner win the league, we’re gunner win the league.” Then Bert put his glasses on, refreshed his Twitter account and realised that the best player in the entire universe had actually signed for Moan Utd. I can’t begin to describe the carnage that ensued when he confessed to his mistake but, suffice it to say, they’re still trying to get the stains off the flock wallpaper in the upstairs toilet.

Gran says normality was restored on Tuesday as they bickered over the whys and wherefores of Arsene Wenger’s latest coup d’etat, the signing of the galactico… Danny Welbeck. I like Welbeck (or Welbecao as Gran insists on calling him); but given that World Cup-winning Arsenal have toptastic aspirations this season you’d think that having one striker who couldn’t hit a cow’s bum with a banjo in the team was enough.

Spurs don’t have quite so much to worry about in that department now Harry Kane is firing on all cylinders. Our former youth teamer did us proud in Europe on Thursday and we’re glad he survived the deadline day madness. I guess supporters will always believe it’s healthy to have youth system players in the first team. Some of the fans who got Falcao but lost Welbeck seem to. Shame those in charge of our superstar-obsessed game don’t always see it.