Published: 1 May, 2014

ARSENAL by Richard Osley

I’VE spent a fair few months avoiding Match Of The Day 2 on Sunday nights under the false impression that Colin Murray presents it. But it turns out, more fool me, he’s actually been sent out to graze and can be now found covering the rubbish version of the world darts championships.

You see, to make sure nobody feels isolated on these isles, the BBC seems to simply be going through a regional accent cycle on MOTD2. They’ve ticked off black country mumbles with Adrian Chiles. Now, Murray’s razoring Belfast tones have gone and a man called Chappers is doing the job, with a generic northern accent and an assured support of Manchester United.

Sadly for him, on Sunday night’s edition, I found poor Chappers having to listen to Alan Shearer and Mark Lawrenson flapping “phwoars” at each other about the tactical genius of Jose Mourinho. The job he had done on Liverpool in Chelsea’s 2-0 win was the mindwork of supreme intelligence. It was not really explained how he tactic’d up Steven Gerrard slipping on the Anfield turf, but phwoar Jose phwoar you’re brilliant. It was such a shame, then, Chelsea’s midweek Champions League game against Atletico Madrid was not touched by the same tactical phwoaring-amazing brilliance.

What the pundits might’ve spent more time on was the way Arsenal ripped apart Newcastle on Monday with style and grace. When Ozil, Cazorla and Ramsey click together, it’s almost like seeing Pires combining with Thierry. Almost. More exciting than team bus tactics, it was the match the pundits really should’ve feasted on.

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