Published: 9 October, 2014

ARSENAL by Richard Osley

AFTER a while, and Chelsea fans of a decent vintage know this, it doesn’t really hurt. Once you’ve lost so many times away at the same team, it just becomes the routine of life. I’m numb to losing at Stamford Bridge.

Before Chelsea had money, when they were awful, their fans must have felt the same about visiting Highbury, knowing that Kerry Dixon wasn’t going to get the job done. For years and years and years – and years – and years, Chelsea were flattened by Arsenal. 

With £23gigillion-bazillion spent on new players and the roles reversed, Arsenal have been pulverised so often, it’s not really a thing anymore. Yeah, you won – what a surprise, you spent a heap more cash over the past decade. For all Jose Mourinho’s showmanship, you wonder whether he will take charge of a club without such colossal resource. He’d be rubbish with Crewe on Football Manager. 

The shifting sands are best illustrated if you actually go to the Bridge. The wall of fame on the perimeter wall are colour pictures from the last 10 years, with not much before that. When you go to Ashburton Grove, there are old-timers from Arsenal’s history on the bridge and the side of the stadium. History vs money, the argument is over. Gone. Which makes Arsene Wenger’s shoving of Mourinho all the more silly. It was like Wenger went there and thought Arsenal could win and was then disappointed when the inevitable happened. He needs an Abramovich-sized chequebook if he wants to do that.

SPURS by Catherine Etoe

IT was handbags at dawn on Sunday and I’m not talking about Gran’s scrap with Doris at the bingo over a missing magic marker. 

Nope, I’m obviously talking about Arsene “Basher” Wenger and Jose “Why Always Me?” Mourinho at Stamford Bridge. Now this is a family newspaper and the condoning of violence is not usually allowed on these pages, even when a twerp like the Chelsea boss is concerned but (look away now kids) … I had hoped Basher was about to give Moanrinho a proper old seeing to. 

Sadly, rather than send the Portuguese flying onto the seat of his Armani pants before going in for the kill with his new hush puppies, the Frenchman only managed a few feeble shoves and his opponent stayed lively enough to slip in a devastating tie-flick. As scraps go, it was a failure. But Basher is used to that according to his sparring partner, yawn, yawn.

Luckily, some managers still have class and none more so than Mauricio Pochettino, who faced his old club Southampton at the Lane on Sunday with good grace and respect, despite the metaphorical bloody nose he got from the away fans.

They hadn’t wanted him to leave. I’m glad he did. Sure, Spurs have their critics this season, most notably trendy cockatoo Robbie Savage (I’m not being funny, it’s the name of his new hairstyle). The most talented of Moan Utd's class of ’92 recently caw-cawed in his Auntie Beeb column that Spurs are boring and a bit rubbish. 

So, I wonder if Pochettino stuck Sav’s words to the dressing room wall on Sunday before telling the team: “Don’t get mad, get even.” 

Worked for us. Maybe Monsieur Wenger should try following suit!