Published: 23 May, 2013
by CATHERINE ETOE

WANT to know which naff and ancient telly programme was all the rage the last time Spurs finished above Arsenal in the league?

Or which useless and almost forgotten politician was in power?

Or even which oh-so-rubbish and vaguely memorable crooner was top of the pops back then?

Don’t worry Tottenham fans, I’m sure some highly witty Gooner will have searched that thing called the web just so they could tell you this week. With relish.

So be it. One day we’ll be able to say that the last time Arsenal finished above Spurs, viewers couldn’t get enough of nimble thumbs Alan Sugar, the Tories had yet to be overtaken by Ukip and Rod Stewart was rocking the album charts (eh?).

That’s because this year will be the last time. This summer Spurs scouts will be the ones to spot the next Dave Giroud, the next Larry Koscielny, the next Gervinho.

Good grief! Did they really finish fourth?

Yes. Because Man United were so distracted after mincing down the guard of honour like fairytale princesses at the Emirates that they forgot to take all the points off Arsenal. Because Adebayor went for an early bath at their place.

Actually, it’s not. It’s because we played half a season without any strikers. Just for a change.

But it doesn’t do to dwell on these things. Let’s just look back on the good times. Like Arsenal losing. To Fourth Division Bradford. To the chicken fanciers of Blackburn. To us. And let’s remember the golden rule that has been handed down to us all since we were young: “You’re a Tottenham fan, kid. Stop crying. Stop wondering what might have been. And get on with it.” Here’s to next season.