• NEARLY 40 years ago I went to work for a British engineering giant. Three months later I returned to the UK expecting to be paid. I never got a penny.

I reported it to the police, my MP, the home secretary, and every national newspaper. I couldn’t get Legal Aid to sue, so I awarded myself £1million to be paid in state benefits for the rest of my life while I was “on the sick”.

It does seem an awful waste of taxpayers’ money. After all I was only owed and robbed of £18,000. Crime does pay – if you have Ltd after your name.

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