Brigitte Clements at the vigil for Nicole Hurley

ON October 9, Nicole Hurley was fatally stabbed in her home in Primrose Hill, leaving behind their four children.

She was my neighbour.

What happened afterwards was astounding. Dozens of doors opened, and they stayed open.

Kindness and generosity flowed from neighbours, friends and strangers. More than 1,000 people came together to give money to help support the children. Every day flowers arrived, and cards, and candles.

In stormy weather neighbours came out in the night and made sure the flowers were tied up, that each and every card was wrapped in plastic so as not to get damaged.

Every night candles were lit. WhatsApp groups were created, complex arrangements for activities made, teams were formed and went out and distributed flyers throughout the area, and friendships were made.

We stayed out every night together, wanting to mourn together, laugh together, be together.

For the first time in two years I felt the strong tie of belonging to a community.

This is not to trivialise the situation.

This violence is a terrifying and complex issue and needs to be addressed not just in our homes, but also in our communities.

Since the pandemic we have seen a significant rise in mental health issues, culminating in abuse, violence, and now all too often, murder.

Simultaneously, we have also seen a rise in social isolation; the loneliness epidemic is fracturing our society.
But why? And more poignantly, what can we do about it?

What this pandemic has taken away from us is connection and community. It has functioned both as a pressure cooker and magnifying glass, exacerbating stresses and amplifying fissures in our lives.

Pair that with social distancing and the loss of social connections that give us buoyancy, and we have what we see today: a breaking society.

If I could, for just a moment, put myself in the shoes of these children who have lost everything,

I would want to know that in the darkest of moments that people care.

Nicole Hurley

That my loss is everyone’s loss. That everyone in the neighbourhood came out and opened their doors, their beds and their hearts.

That 1,000 people, friends, neighbours, and strangers alike, came together to donate money so these kids could have a shot at a bright, successful future.

There was this beautiful moment in the darkest of moments in the aftermath of this tragic evening where someone commented to the youngest about not having access to her (home) door anymore.

She turned around and smiled with her eyes and said so matter of factly: “But look, I have all these doors here open to me”.

In the end, isn’t this what we all want?

Be the change you want to see in the world. It doesn’t take a tragedy to form bonds in the community.

Ask yourself what you can do to strengthen the community bonds in your neighbourhood and open doors again.

• To be a part of our community and help support this extraordinary family, please donate to: https://gofund.me/d865e1fa