Published: 15 December, 2011
BY RICHARD OSLEY

WHEN a dunderhead Spurs fan splutters at you this week that they were  beaten, not by Stoke, but the referee on Sunday, offer them only the smuggest grin you can muster – I’m running evening classes in smug grins in the New Year if anybody wants to sign up – and then remind them of the words: ‘Rafa Hand Der Vaart’.

We are all aware of the first rules of soccer: penalty shootouts must always be referred to as ‘dreaded lotteries’, Scott Parker must always ‘run his socks off’, Ray Wilkins must never use a Chelsea player’s surname during commentary, and, crucially, dodgy decisions even themselves out over the course of the season.

So, let us not forget that Spurs stole a goal in the north London derby earlier this season with a blatant handball. On Sunday, they were suitably swizzed a number of times as a goes-around comes-around payback.

The ref was awful. The linesman made mistakes too, even if Emmanuel Adebayor’s default position is ‘offside’.  Yet, the Battle of the Europa Leaguers wasn’t the most fun thing of the week. No, that would be Robin van Persie’s goal. Or Fabregas getting one over Ronaldo in Spain.

Also more fun was El Cashico.

Two grotesque overspenders in Chelsea and Manchester City combining to ensure Arsenal’s glorious record of a unique, unbeaten season remains intact.

Merry Invicibles Day, people.

It’s come early this year.

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