Published: 8 December, 2011

ARSENAL
WHAT would you do if someone said: “Hold out your hand, I want to give you some scrumptious pineapple chunks.

They are lovely boiled sweets which you can suck all day, tastier than Wonka would have ever made.

The world’s finest.

But listen, sunshine, I will be administering a couple of chinese burns on you before handing them over. OK?”

You probably wouldn’t hold out your hand.

You’d say “I can take or leave pineapple chunks actually, I prefer cola cubes so it’s not worth you yanking my wrist in different directions.” And you would walk away.

If the confectioner at the devil’s crossroads then said the deal was compulsory, you’d feel squeamishly aggrieved.

It’s a little bit – I SAID LITTLE, DON'T WRITE IN – like the Olympics.

There is this promise of something good, but we are being duffed with one chinese burn after another.

First we pay extra tax to pay for the games.

Then we are hit with a ticketing system that blatantly favours the rich money pledgers.

Then we are told an extra £40m (3,264,236 nurses) will be spent on opening ceremonies.

Now, perhaps, the worst insult: Arsenal have been forced to cancel the Emirates Cup next year.

We’ve lost Fabregas, Nasri and the Carling Cup to Man City.

Now this, a trophy avenue closed.

The Olympics is one chinese burn after another.

Those pineapple chunks better be worth it.
RICHARD OSLEY

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