|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| UPDATED
EVERY FRIDAY
Last Update:
Friday 20th
May, 2005 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| All
content © New Journal Enterprises, 2005. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Porn addicts and cyber widows |
Brett Khar and Susie Orbach |
INTERNET pornography is creating a culture of individualism,
rupturing relationships and turning many women into “cyber-widows”.
Brett Khar, BBC2’s resident psychotherapist, joined
writer and therapist Susie Orbach at Swiss Cottage’s
Tavistock Centre to discuss the impact of pornography on family
life. Their research has found the life of the pornography
user no longer applies to a select few who have the courage
to look on the top shelf of newsagents.
In a survey of 13,000 people, Dr Khar found that 87 per cent
of men older than 18 admitted to downloading pornography,
while 56 per cent of women were reported to have had a peep.
Dr Khar said: “I’m not saying that there is an
epidemic of internet porn threatening the fabric of society,
but there has been a notable increase in couples coming into
my clinic to talk about pornography.
“My surgery has seen a diverse range of fantasies resulting
from the internet – there was even a nun who began to
embrace sadomasochism.”
“The problem couples face is that by actualising your
fantasies online you may rupture the amount of intimacy with
a partner.”
Dr Khar termed internet porn fanatics as “cyber compulsives”
and those left in their wake “cyber widows.”
Guardian columnist, Susie Orbach, whose groundbreaking novel,
Fat is a Feminist Issue, made her an icon for the women’s
movement in the late 1980s, believes men and women use internet
porn differently.
She said: “Voyeurism tends to be a male fantasy. Women
bring what they ‘learn’ about sexuality from the
internet into their relationship.
“Men use pornography to escape from their relationship.”
The psychotherapists were quick to emphasise that pornography
was not all bad.
Susanna Abse, who works for the Tavistock Centre for Couple
Relationships, said: “We don’t want to be portrayed
as the Mary Whitehouses of NW3, leading a moral crusade against
internet porn.
“In some ways it’s just as bad as a man going
down the pub – it is the same mechanism of engaging
in distance.
“It is just a substitute for something, and can be the
best way of managing something difficult.
“We would all agree that it’s okay to explore
your sexuality on the internet. We have got to understand
the subtle reasons why people are turning to porn, rather
than saying porn is the problem.”
Ms Orbach added: “For many women, having a man release
his sexual energy away from her may be a huge relief.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
