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Friday 9th December, 2005

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THE CROW - By CATHERINE ETOE & RICHARD OSLEY

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Desperate photo shoot to distract from Reebok farce

AS regular readers will know, this column has never tired of shamelessly rehashing the hilarious jibe that my esteemed rival Richard Osley is Marty Jol’s older brother.

But our feeble lookey-likey joke almost rang true this week after Marty revealed to a Sunday rag what his brothers are called. One is Dick, and given Mr Osley’s first name he could pass for him on paper. At least.
The other is Cornelius, nicknamed Cock.
Now, given the picture between the Crows this week, you could say Rich has all the makings of one.
But alas readers, Richard Osley assures me he is neither.
The jury is out, in my opinion.
The jury is in when it comes to Arsene Wenger’s ability to read a calendar however.
“The season starts here,” the Prof announced to the football world as his Uninvincibles travelled up to the Reebok on Saturday.
No Arsene, the season started in August, around the time you lost your first away match.

SORRY Dad. You gave me the best start in life; you made me an Arsenal fan. You still pick me up twice a year when we lose to Bolton.
But by the time you read this note, I’ll be gone.
The blotchy rash on my back caused by the cheapo fibres of that cheapo Spurs shirt I was cajoled into wearing won’t heal.
I can’t argue with the photographic evidence.

After all those games of Subbuteo we shared, I still ended up in the Oxford Arms pub wearing Tottenham colours and singing “Come on you Spurs”.
I was foolish and although it was for charity – a £100 bet for the benefit of the Camden New Journal’s Christmas Hamper Fund – things can never be the same again.
After 23 mainly happy years of supporting Arsenal, I need to get away, work out where it all went wrong and start over.
I hear Grimsby is nice this time of year. I could take up fishing. I’m so sorry.
Richard.

• Are they talking rubbish? Let us know at Your Shout, 40 Camden Road, NW1 9DR or by email: sport@camdennewjournal.co.uk

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