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| A footballer’s skill is
all in the jeans |
 IT’S
that time of year again when Thierry Henry discovers it’s just
his wife and Arsene Wenger who think he should be European footballer
of the year. Never mind Thierry, there’s always 2006, by which
time you might be playing for a team who won’t think they can
walk on water just because they managed to beat Wigan.
 Interestingly
enough, Ronaldinho, the man who actually is Europe’s No 1 player,
reckons everyone in life has been given a gift by god.
For the Rio Ferdinand lookey-likey, it is football. And philosophy.
For Thierry, it is ‘acting’ in car adverts. For his team
mate Sol Campbell, it appears to be sewing.
That’s right, Sol has abandoned his bid to land a bit part
in Bend it like Beckham and wants to become the next Calvin Klein.
Calm down Freddie, it ain’t underpants that Sol has his eye
on, it’s his very own brand of…jeans.
Imagine it – die-hard Gooners across Hertfordshire prancing
around in designer Sol jeans.
I might even be tempted myself because I reckon they could be pretty
special indeed.
Granted, the zip will fall down after 20 minutes, there will be
a flipping great tear in the back of one leg and they’ll fade
after just one wash. But if they’ve got the Sol stamp of approval,
they’re bound to be a sell-out.
 I
STAYED in on Saturday night and found dapper-suited Thierry Henry
being interviewed on Parkinson. I can just about picture the planning
for the show… Michael Parkinson: “It’s not like
the good old Give Us A Clue days. The ratings are down because we
are up against Match of The Day. By Jove, I’ve got it! Let’s
get an actual footballer on the show. That will sell it.”
 Work
experience researcher: “Hmm. Give Us A Clue? – wasn’t
that just a rip-off of charades? I think I preferred that interview
you did with Rod Hull and Emu. Anyway a footballer sounds good.
Who?”
Parky: “That Emu interview was very funny – they don’t
come much funnier than Rod Hull – but let’s concentrate
on Saturday’s show. One of the articulate foreign players in
the Premiership, maybe?”
Researcher “Edgar Davids?”
Parky: “No. Too ugly. Let’s go for a striker.”
Researcher: “Robbie Keane?”
Parky: “Have you seen his goal celebrations? We want somebody
with a bit of flair, a bit of mystique – somebody the ladies
love and the guys want to take for a pint.”
Researcher: “I’ve got it! Paul Stalteri!.”
Parky: “Doesn’t he play for Grimsby?”
Researcher: “I get the impression you don’t want a Spurs
player. Howsabout Teddy Sheringham?”
Parky: “You’re fired! Somebody call Thierry Henry.”
• Are they talking rubbish? Let
us know at Your Shout, 40 Camden Road, NW1 9DR or by email: sport@camdennewjournal.co.uk |
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