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THE CROW - By CATHERINE ETOE & RICHARD OSLEY
 
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Rio watches from the stands – and so do the Gunners

I HEAR Sol Campbell finally nailed a role in Bend it Like Beckham II on Saturday. The director was so impressed by the wannabe luvvie’s crocked defender routine that he snapped him up for a hobble-off part. Apparently.
His team mates probably weren’t too happy. Bobby the penguin Pires and grandpa Dennis Bergkamp were all set for their biggest match of the season on Monday.
But once Larry Olivier was injured, the two weren’t allowed to run out with your 16-year-olds against our 16-year-olds. That reserves victory over my Spurs had you gormless Gooners prancing around like you’d won the World Cup on Tuesday.
Excuse the Osley speak, but you were so chuffed I half expected you to get the open topped bus out for a victory tour of Stevenage. But while they were scraping you lot off the ceiling, us Lilywhite fans were busy watching an Arsenal-less England. And while Sol was off fluffing, sorry, practising his lines in front of the mirror on Wednesday, he was being upstaged by Ledley King.
The Spurs skipper made Thierry Henry look like an out of work extra from a football boot advert in Euro 2004. If the Frenchman watched him steal the show against Poland, he’d do well to do a Sol when the real north London derby comes around.




HIS name is Rio and he watches from the stands…
Well, he would do if England’s first choice centre back Sol Campbell wasn’t always injured. I’m no Sven lover – he has plenty of those already and I’m still puzzling over why he thought bringing on Owen Hargreaves when we were losing to Northern Ireland would turn things around.
But Eriksson won major Osley points on Saturday when he dumped Rio for Sol. It’s about time somebody saw sense, I’ve been telling everyone Rio is rubbish for years.
Rio is a big head, he is overrated, he is ugly and he plays for Manchester United. I hate the way he jumps over players as they celebrate goals and I’d be happy if he never played for England again.
Deep breath. Clockwatching at 3 o’clock the other day I came up with a team of current Premiership players I hate the most – we’ve all done it, even if we were 12 at the time – and Ferdinand was one of the first names on the pad.
FYI: Schmeichel, Gary Neville, Mills, Ferdinand, Phil Neville, Barton, Michael Brown, Bowyer, Ronaldo, Robbie Keane, Sheringham, capt.
I know Schmeichel isn’t current but I will never dislike a goalkeeper as much as that red-nosed, chipped-by-everyone rubbish-pundit twit. I said twit. Rant over. I know you like constructive arguments. Oops. Almost forgot. Grimsby-watch: They lost to Wycombe at the weekend.




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