UPDATED EVERY
FRIDAY
Last Update:
Friday 23rd December, 2005
 
PUBLICATION
THE CROW - By CATHERINE ETOE & RICHARD OSLEY
  
ISLINGTON
WEST END EXTRA
 
SECTIONS
MUSIC - CLASSICAL
MUSIC - GROOVES
THEATRE
RESTAURANTS
HEALTH
 
NAVIGATION


With Google
 
 
 
Haunted by the ghost of Christmas future

ACCORDING to the pundits, the nation (and Alex Ferguson) were backing the Uninvincibles on Sunday in the hope it would put a spark back into the Premiership.
Well Spurs may have put the super into Sunday with that six-goal thriller up at the Riverside.
But watching Arsene Wenger’s Easilybeatables gifting the moneybags the title at Highbury was about as gripping as a candlelit dinner with Graeme Le Saux. Still, I’m glad we finally worked out why Jose Young Big ’Ed Mourinho had a face like a slapped bum at the final whistle.
After all, he’d looked so jolly during the game, doing the Birdy Dance when Arjen Robben – the man who looks old enough to be Bobby Robson’s father – scored Chelski’s first.
And almost setting off on his annual David Pleat jog when Joe Cole skipped past Lauren, still merrily picking his teeth out of the saintly Michael Essien’s elbow, to score another one.
Turns out Jose had more on his mind than beating Arsenal. At Highbury.
He was busily working out why his esteemed rival hadn’t thanked him for his hand-made Christmas card. I suspect Jose’s little helpers had delivered his personal message to Sam Allardyce to Highbury by mistake. After all, I don’t imagine the words “Arsenal don’t like it up ’em” would be too well received by Arsene and his back-room boys. Do you?


WHILE Arsene Wenger spends this Christmas Eve counting up the money that he might have spent on transfers this year, he will be visited by three spirits. First, the ghost of Christmas past: Patrick Vieira in a Juventus shirt.
Then the ghost of Christmas present: Matt Flamini in an Arsenal shirt. And finally, the ghost of Christmas future: Thierry Henry in a Grimsby, sorry, Barcelona shirt.
The festive shock will lead Wenger to sign a new goalkeeper, two new midfielders and another striker. B’ah humbug – if only these hammed-up Christmas Carol clichés ever came true, even once.
Truth is – after three defeats in a row – we all now know what mid-table is like – we really are living the life of a Spurs fan.
We go to matches expecting nothing. We are happy just to wave if we are picked out by the big screen. We clap the attendance when it is read out. We blame the ref when the opposition score. We sing songs about how great we once were. We consider face paint. We are dreaming up ways to make the Carling Cup sound worthwhile. Dare I even say the word, Intertoto.
This is what Spurs fans do – not Gunners. All Lauren might want for Christmas is his two front teeth back. But, right now, I’d settle for a couple of satsumas and an away win at Charlton. Merry bloomin’ Christmas.



• Are they talking rubbish? Let us know at Your Shout, 40 Camden Road, NW1 9DR or by email: sport@camdennewjournal.co.uk
 

   
   
 
All content © New Journal Enterprises, 2005